Captain Hiccup, NAW just Hiccup
by HiccupTheUseless1234
Summary: Deadpool The Badass. Wade goes back in time and meets Hiccup The useless. He dosent like the way Hiccups life in turning by, so he decides to do something about it, he trains Hiccup to be the Deadpool of his time. 5 years go by and no one knows that Hiccup has the power to kill them all one-by-one. Deadpool leaves when his training is over.Will He show them all the power he Holds?
1. 5 years ago

Deadpool. THE MOST badass person in the entire world. Amazing powers and twisted sense of humor. Lets not forget that he's the ultimate sex machine. Even thought he looks like and avocado had sex with another avocado, he still damn awesome.

One day our favorite most badass anti-hero here was getting payed to kill a guy that recently developed a time machine his name was DAVE! _DUN DUN DUNNN._

Deadpool was heading to unalive this guy in his signature ride. _THE TAXI RAN BY THE INDIAN GUY._

When he got there he yelled out "CUE THE MUSIC" then X gon give it to ya, started playing as his background music.

He went in and relized he forgot him armor bag.

"WHY THE FUCK DO I ALWAYS DO THIS" "FINE! then lets do it old school, one man 2 katanas"

As the music continued playing he fought off hundreds of guards with just his 2 swords.

One of the Guards shot him in the ass but he got what he deserved.

Until suddenly...

BOOM!

There was a big explosion and all deadpool saw was a bright light.

000

Deadpool woke up in a side of a storage looking beach with a cliff right I front of it, from the top of the cliff smoke was coming out. So there must've been doe, people that could help him identify where he was.

He didn't recognize the place, it look like it haven't been touched by modern human beings. He hears yelling coming from the top. He runs down and dugs down behind a bush in order to hear the conversation of the odd looking people. The were wearing round hats with horns in the top, almost all of them. The were wearing A LOT of clothes, layers of it, well it made sense it was REALLY cold.

"Maybe I'm close to Antarctica or something"

Almost all the men had HUGE beards. They looked like they never shaved before.

"Who the hell are these people, they look sooo lower class"

And there houses, they were made of wood, and slightly medal. They looked so old. Some of the houses were on fire and others were completely destroyed, wow they looked like the been attacked by and army.

"What made this mess" He started listening to the conversation.

There was a HUGE dude yelling at a really REALLY small other dude, he looked young and skinny, the huge dude was yelling at him.

I listened closely.

"EVERY TIME YOU GO OUTSIDE DISASTER FALLS. WHY CANT YOU FOLLOW THE SIMPLEST ORDERS!" Said the huge dude

The small boy whispered but loud enough to so Deadpool could hear him.

"I don't know dad, I see a dragon and I have to just kill it, it's who I am"

'what in the ass' Deadpool thought to himself 'Dragons? Like what the hell and now I understand the huge dude is the small dude FATHER?! Wow it must be super embarrassing to get yelled at in public I almost want to kill the huge dude, but seriously DRAGONS' Deadpool chuckled a little.

The day he saw a dragons was the day he would either show mercy to someone or call himself ugly hahhahah NEVER GONNA HAPPEN.

Deadpools POV

"Make sure that he gets home I have his mess to clean up" said the huge dude to another slightly smaller dude that had a really bad looking fake arm and leg. With blonde hair, and a Medal tooth sticking out of his mouth. I saw the small adburned hair boy follow the medal tooth guy without even fighting or at lest saying 'But'.

Thats weird if that were me I would be like ' Listing fat motherfucker you ain't the boss of my scrawny ass, I do what I want, when I want and where I want it' wow that dude is really weak, now that I see him a little closer.

He followed the dude through a path and while he was walking a saw a group of smaller people than the others all still slightly bigger than the small dude. One of them said.

"That was quite the performance" he had long blonde hair and a round face, there was a girl next to him that looked almost the same as he did LITERALLY.

The another said "I've never seen anyone mess up that badly, That helped!." He looked kind of short, he had one of those weird looking hats on and his hair was tucked in it, he look d strong, he had a couple of muscles in there.

They were making fun of the little guy, I think he gets bullied.

Wow that was kind of depressing, I'm gonna go and follow the little guy maybe he could help me without freacking out and trying to kill me mostly because he really doesn't look like much of a threat.

I followed him to a REALLY big house on top of the hill he and the medal tooth guy were first talking on the front door but then he went inside.

I can't go inside his house or can I...

But I suddenly saw his escape from the back door... That makes so much more sense, seriously this is unacceptable I have to teach this kid how to fight, he's just gonna be a doormat all his life , and I want to prevent it, sure I'm Deadpool and I'm only good in killing people but...

What if I could have a little _apprentice_

Someone to continue my Deadpool name after I die...

wait... **I CANT DIE.**

H well I guess just a little apprentice to work with me and work for me. But j have to explain how I got here and I need him to tell me what's going on witch I know he will.

-1 hour later-

I've been following him for over an hour trying to make sure he goes far away enough to so I can introduce myself.

"I've been looking for over an hour and still nothing, Why do the gods hate me"

Its time...

"Heyyyy I'm Deadpool" I shouted at him.

He jumped and said "Who's there, SHOW YOURSELF"

Well whatever the kid wanted, I walked out of the bush and let the boy see me.

"Oh my Thor, please don't hurt, I-I I'll do anything you ask"

OMG this kid has got A LOT learn.

"Wow ok listen, I'm here to tell you something very messed, prepare to have the most weird and most awesome conversation of your life, I just want to talk" I said kinda loudly.

"Y-Yes sir" he said. Wow, just wow. This kid is to respectful. I'll have to change that.

I Explained everything to him, that I'm from the the future, btw I already discovered that there Vikings sooo who cares, any way I kept Explaining him that I'm a mercenary or a trained assassin, how ever you want to call it.

He seemed a little scared when I told him I kill people for money, but there bad people so who cares.

I told him about my healing factor, he didn't believe that I can't die at first but then I stabbed my self in the heart with my katana and I cut off my right arm of, he screamed, and I told him it was ok, I heal really fast it dose t hurt, then after that he started at me in awe and he watched you arm grow back.

" are you a god" he asked me. I was a little flattered by the question.

"No, I'm not a god, believe it or not I'm just like you, I'm normal human being, I just have a healing factor that's all, I heal in less then 2 seconds"

He stared at me with amazement.

"What do you want from me"

"I saw how those people back there treated you, and I want it to stop, I'm not going back to the present anytime soon, so I'm gonna spent every hour of my day t train you to become the Deadpool of this time your gonna learn to fight like I do, I can kill an entire army with my two katanas a right here, and Hiccup I want to train you, to kill to assassinate. But I must warn you, if you choose to do this you will not be a hero you will be an anti-hero, your a bad guy that gets played to fuck up worst guys, Hiccup by doing this you will have to end countless lives, you will kill man, women or children if it's needed to reach your goal, also I have the most badass twisted sense of humor, so your gonna have to be funny and/or sarcastic."

Hiccup looked at me wipe-eyed not knowing what to say.

"If you need tie event to think about it I completely under-"

"Yes, I choose this life but may I please live here in berk"

"Yes you can, I will be living here at the forest whenever you have free time you come right here straight away, and that's an order mini-Deadpool"

"SIR YES SIR" he smiled and I smiled under my mask but I do also have to show him how I look like, here goes nothing.

" Hiccup remember when I told you that the only downside to having this healing factor in the fact that I look like a testicle with teeth" he nodded and laughed a little in what I said

I took off my mask and he shirked again.

"Yeah I know but I'm still sexy, I actually HAVE a girlfriend"

"Whatever when do we start training"

"Tomorrow, meet me in this very spot to start"

"Yes "

"Good luck, Cause you'll need it if I'm gonna be your teacher.

000

 **Something that's been in my mind for a few months.**

 **Tell me what you think**


	2. Ideas

Deadpools POV.

5 years of INTENSE Training later. Every day working his ass off, I really saw potential in this kid. 2 years ago he even helped me kill Drago Bludvist, I'm so proud he's just as good as me, except he doesn't have guns or a healing factor.

The people of his village still have no clue that Hiccup could easily kill everyone.

Hiccup is now capable of ending the life of anybody that comes in his way, no matter witch gender or age. (Begins sobbing in his mind) IM SO PROUD...

He's an expert katana fighter now just like me... I have to get back to my own time. Vanessa's gonna murder me when I get back. But I'll deal with that later.

Hiccup just pretends to be weak and scrawny when he's at Berk but when he's with me or alone...He transforms into the badass I always knew he could be. I even gave him my music box so every time he's going on a killing rampage he just says "Cue the Music" Then my favorite action song starts playing 'X gone give it to ya'.

Today is the day I will leave Berk and go back to my own time, I trust Hiccup to do always what's _wrong._ HEHEHHEHE you thought I was gonna say _right,_ right?

This is the day Hiccup graduates.

000

 **In the forest...**

"Well your finally b-becoming a full o-on m-mercenary" I was sobbing and crying

"Thank you for teaching me everything you know I promise you I will follow your footsteps and only YOUR footsteps, I will become a powerful mercenary, I will end the miserable life of any jackass that gets in the way of my victory. I'm not afraid to end the life of ANYONE" he said proudly wearing my exact suit exempt much smaller. And he was wearing his mask by the way.

"Make me proud, and you know what I mean by that" as I said this I slid a finger across my throat.

He Chuckled.

" I will never forget what you have done for me, you helped me discover the things I'm capable of, you helped me realize that inside me there a beast ready to be released" He said. I smiled.

"Are you gonna show your village who you really are anytime soon after I leave" I asked

"I'm gonna let them try to figure it out, let's see how long they take" he laughed at the Vikings current intelligence.

"I Trust You...Hiccup Horrendous Haddock the III you are now the Deadpool of Vikings, you are now and assassin, You Are Now A Mercenary" I said placing my hand over his shoulder.

"Do you accept that you will need to end the life of men, women and maybe even sometimes children, to get to the person you were payed to kill" I asked

He nodded with out hesitating.

"Do you swear to never show ANY mercy to anyone, even if there a helpless crying dude" I asked

He nodded again.

"Do you accept the mercenary name"

He nodded once again.

"Then my loyal past apprentice and young friend, you are now DEADPOOL! You are no longer Hiccup The Useless."

He released a cold bitter laugh.

"You are now 'Hiccup The Assassin'" I said.

He smiled once again.

"It is time for me to go"

He nodded then said "Goodbye...master"

"Goodbye...Good luck"

Then I disappeared.

Hiccups POV

It was a little sad to see my master go... Thanks to him I'm finally a full trained assassin.

 _Hiccup the Assassin._ That name kept ringing in my head, it sounded so badass.

I have changed over these past 5 years, my physical, emotional and spiritual being have all changed.

I was actually a lot more attractive then I was 5 years ago. My jaw line had pointed out, I no longer have that round baby face.. My cheek bones got pointed...my hair grew and it was messier... I have a lot more muscle, but I don't let anyone in Berk see my muscles, I nearly show up in public. Most people just see me once or twice in a month.

I should stop that or else they'll suspect something... _but_

Maybe that's what I want, I want them to see the monster that I really am.

I laughed coldly and bitterly to myself. I changed to my normal everyday clothes and headed towards Berk.

I wasn't wearing a jacket so I couldn't put my hood on when I passed through the village so I just decided to show with my face completely uncovered, I haven't done that in a while so here goes nothing.

 **In the village...**

I walked in and saw no one I continued my path from my house to the forge. _Surprisingly I still work there._

Anyway I did see a few children in the side of the way and they just looked at me like a total stranger. Who could blame 'em really?.

Next was the town square, it was packed with people, I was confused at first. But then I got it. _Shit Fuck._ Today's marketing day.

Everyone was usually out that day. _Fucking Shit._ Why can't I just kill them all.

But then I remembered what my master said to me once

 _"You've got nothing to loose, when your in the a battle that you are loosing just keep kicking there asses, don't care who looks, just go and stab them in the brains. And if your still loosing just have a little sex, hehe always helps me..."_

Well right now I don't have a girlfriend so the sex thing is off limits. So just keep fighting.

Come on Hiccup you're a mercenary now, your Deadpool now, fear doesn't exist anymore

I just walked forward not caring who sees.. Most people ignored me but some, looked a little shock to see me not concealing myself. I just kept walking like Nobody's watching.

Then out of nowhere Snotlout got in my way and blocked my path my path.

"Hey, Useless I haven't seen you show your face in a long time, guess you finally got almost as attractive as me" he said. _Tell me what you think, who looks better me or him, cause I look fucking Hot as a 20 years old. ( **Imagine Hiccup and Snotlout in HTTYD 2)**_

"Gee, thanks Snotlout" i said sarcastically.

"Well I better stop waisting my time with someone as worthless as you" and with that he vanished of to Johann's ship.

I just kept on walking and walking, I saw more and more people that were shocked to see me, i even saw one that was talking to my father whisper something into my Dads ear and then gesture at me. Probably to tell him that I'm finally out in the open.

I just ignored the little scene and continued on my way. I finally reached the forge. I saw Astrid in there talking to Gobber.

I stopped loving her **years** ago. Deadpool told me that if a girl just docent like me than forget her and take a new one, there are no more attractive girls such as Astrid. But I can just be like my mentor, he told me once that:

Deadpools words: _Theres nothing wrong with being single, i was single for 2 years because of my face until i decided to show my true self to Vanessa, so its alright Astrid doesn't know what she lost._

So theres nothing wrong with being alone.

I walked closer to hear their conversation and i realized she was talking to 2 people, Gobber and my DAD!?.

I started listening.

"Ive noticed too Stoick the lad aint what he use to be, he doesn't have the enthusiasm to work anymore, he's always in the forest doing Thor-knows what, and he started wearing a hood ever wear, almost like he doesn't want to be seen" said Gobber.

"I have to figure out whats wrong with him maybe he's severely ill, or maybe he's self conscious." said my father.

"And not just that Chief he never talks anymore, he's always quite also I think he stopped eating Dinner, cause he's never in the Mead Hall during night" said Astrid.

They were all describing my behavior!

They were talking about ME!?

"I will speak with him today where is he?" asked my father.

"We don't know, he suppose to work today but most of the time he runs late because he say he 'Got held up', he could be in the forest, he always goes there" said Gobber.

They all sigh. "I wish that boy could just stay put and finally follow orders..." my father said. Alright Ive had just about enough of this.

"Wish Granted" I shouted out.

They turned around and saw me, I was leaning against a door with my hands crossed.

"Uhhh... Hiccup yer early Lad, Hehe, what are ye doing here" Gobber said nervously.

"Uhhh... I don't know maybe because I work here" i said rolling my eyes at him.

Gobber looked at me shocked like he never saw an eye-roll before at least not from me.

"Gobber give Hiccup the day off, Astrid go home...Son i need to speak with you privately" my father ordered.

They both did as my father commanded, Gobber gave me the day off, and Astrid went to go tell the entire village what happened.

My father walked with me to my house. Everyone around us was just staring. It feels creepy to have a million eyes watching your every move.

Usually my master would say something completely inappropriate for children and completely funny for adults.

I miss my master, I wonder if his Girlfriend has murdered him yet.

 **The Haddock Household...**

My father and I walked in, he gestured me to sit in the table across from him.

"Son we need to speak, you have changed, your not the same person you were a few years ago, your completely different"

"Maybe thats a good thing, at least I don't destroy anything anymore, at least I'm not your little disappointment"

"Son, I'm sorry about the nicknames but your not the same person, you don't act the same way, is there anything that you need to tell me, why did you change all of a sudden" he said that looking at me with concerned eyes.

"Dad you don't need to know and even if you did I wouldn't give 2 shits about it, I've been like this ever since I was 16, took you long enough to to notice by the way" I said in a bitter voice.

"Are you saying that you're hiding something from me" he said, sounding a little more demanding.

"Yes I am, and you will never figure out what it is, unless one of the villagers is actually smarter than a box of hair" after I said this my father remained silent.

He walked outside and called out a meeting. Why the hell is he doing. Man sometimes I wish I could kill that guy, but I don't think I'm capable of ending the life of anyone in Berk, anyone outside Berk I would be happy too un-alive. But not the people here.

Then before I knew it Huge Viking men burst into my house, my father being one of them.

There was my Dad, my uncle Spitelout, Gobber, and other Viking men.

"What the Hell are doing?" I asked a little confused.

"I'm going to figure out what is it that your hiding from me even if I have to tear your room apart" he shouted.

 **000**

 **This story is dedicated to MAD Marty...**

 **Im sorry if I may had copies of your ideas.**

 **Read his/her story it's called 'Do the time Warp again'**

 **Plzzz review**


	3. No what he Seems

Well that was unexpected... There gonna search my room.. I already know that they're gonna find my suit and my katanas, but the truth is I really don't give a fuck about what the hell these people do. And I really don't care if the find out.

My uncle Spitelout stayed in the table where I was just in case I escape.

I really had no intention of leaving in the first place... Like I said I don't give a single damn fuck if they find out.

-1 hour later-

Its been 1 hour and they still haven't found my katanas.. I'm not really surprised, Vikings in the village have the I.Q of a Fucking Duck.

Seriously these people are incredibly retarded. Every single Viking in this village is mentally behind... Except for me of course.

This is getting sooo Boring. I'm just hear waiting for them to come down... With my uncle who is still staring at me like in some kind of war criminal. Witch technically I am.

-2 minutes later-

I started to hear foot steps of about 4 men walking down the stairs.

They were already finished. FINALLY. Took them long enough.

My father was the first to come down.

He looked angry. He walked towards the table I was sitting at. He slammed my katanas in the table along with my suite.

A little smirk came across my face. Maybe there not as retarded as they seem.

"EXPLAIN THIS TO ME YOUNG MAN" he boomed.

Ok if he wants it.

"That's a katana" I pointed to my 2 katanas. "That's a red suite" I pointed to my mercenary suite.

I smiled a little.

I think my father wasn't pleased with my answer. He looked like he was about to explode.

"Respect your father boy!" Said my uncle. Then after that he walked towards me and put one of his gigantic hands on my shoulder. I looked in to his face. It expressed anger.

It was almost too funny.

NIGGA what you gonna do to me. Heheh. Watch this...

In a split second I grabbed my uncle by the collar. I tripped his legs and threw him against the wall, making a hole next to our house and getting his head stuck in the process.

Bet you didn't see that coming. Everyone's face was completely shocked. There jaws dropped and they all gasped at the scene they just saw.

I took advantage at there shock and grabber both my suite and katanas and ran out the door. I went to my backyard. Everyone was helping get Spitelouts face out of the hole.

In a matter of seconds I quickly changed to my suite, and put both my katanas on my back.

My father and the other Vikings manage to get Spitelouts face un-stuck.

They ran out the door trying to look for me.

Well I might as well make there job easy right.

I threw my other clothes to the floor and ran towards them.

"Hey, you looking for me" I said casually as if nothing happened. Everyone in the village was attracted to the noise and went towards my house. They saw me in my suite ( **I wasn't wearing the mask BTW)**

Everyone just looked at me confused and with there faces like 'What the fuck is this twig wearing'.

Spitelout got the nerve to speak.

"What is wrong with ye, IF YOU THINK THIS MEANS ANYTHING YOU ARE SURLY MISTAKEN" he yelled.

Wow, ok. Just Wow.

"Alright ok cool" I said normally just making a casual face like nothing's wrong.

Snotlout was close and went to his fathers side supporting him.

"Come on useless, what the hell are you wearing, if this is your choice of fashion wear then you seriously have problems" Snotlout shouted.

"Haha, that's funny coming from you, says the guy that doesn't wear underwear" I shot back.

Snotlout blushed a little. I was the only one that knew that he doesn't wear underwear.

"SILENCE, RUNT, YOU ARE NOTHING COMPARED TO MY SON, WHAT ARE YOU THAT HE ISN'T" he Yelled.

Well let's see I'm mercenary. I've killed people. I've masturbated before. My cock is probably bigger than his. I've met a person from the future... Let's see, let's see...

Witch one should I use...Oohhh I got it. Heheh.

"Hmmm, I'm not a virgin" I said loudly so the entire village can hear it.

Every single person in the village went pale... their faces are priceless.

I could hardly contain my laughter.

No one said a word there jaws reached the floor.

My uncle and Snotlout Stared at me with both shock and amazement.

I just decided to brake the silence... This is too quite.

"So...bye" I said an attempted to walk away. No one had stopped me yet. There faces were still in shock of what I just said. I just kept walking and walking until someone finally stopped me by shouting out my name.

It was my dad.

"HICCUP HORRENDOUS HADDOCK THE III, I DON'T KNOW WHERE THIS BEHAVIOR OF YOURS CAME FROM BUT YOU BETTER EXPLAIN IT NOW!" He Boomed.

I turned around and was face-to-face with him.

"Sure, what do you want to know" I said In a normal casual voice.

"Hiccup, this isn't a joke, explain yourself. Why are you dressed like that. Why do you have those strange looking swords and why are you so disrespectful to every adult in the village" he shouted.

I have no use in hiding it anymore. I think it's finally time for them to know.

Took them long enough... Took 'em 5 years but finally they figured it out.

"Fine if you really want to know, I'll happily tell you" I said making a slight smile.

"Alright then start, why all the sudden change in attitude" he said firmly.

"It's called smart-ass sarcasm and dry inappropriate humor... Been doing it for a while now" I said.

 _Wow ok...I need to have a reality check. Today has been an awful day._

 _1\. Wade leaves_

 _2\. I go to the forge and find people taking about me._

 _3\. My father (along with other Vikings) find my gear. (My suite and my katanas)_

 _4\. I'm forced to slam my uncle threw the wall_

 _5\. Everyone is now mad at me._

 _And finally_

 _6\. I finally have to tell my Dad I'm a well-known deadly mercenary called Deadpool._

 _So...yeah_

 _Today was as much fun as a sandpaper dildo._

 _-End of reality check-_

"HICCUP, TELL ME WHAT'S GOING ON WITH YOU THIS INSTANT!" He boomed

Alright, fine I'll tell this bastard what he wants to hear.

"5 years ago I was chosen to be a mercenary by a mutant mercenary called Deadpool, he taught me everything he knows. I kill people for money. Anyway since he taught me everything he knows, I'm an expert katana master and I'm trained in 7 different types of martial arts. His name was Deadpool because he's a Bad-ass mercenary with the mouth of a sarcastic smart-ass, that's kinda why everyone who has heard of his calls him 'Merc with a mouth'. He also thought me that respect is just another form of weakness." I finished a little out of breath. That was a lot of explaining to do.

Everyone just kept staring at me.

"LIES, LIES STOICK, ITS JUST YOUR SONS DUMB IMAGINATION, HE COULD'T HURT A FLY, WEAK PATHETIC RUNT MAKING UP EXCUSES FOR HIS WORTHLESSNESS" Bommed Spitelout.

OH MY FUCKING GODS. This Motherfucker can't take a Fucking hint. I swear if he doesn't shut the fuck up I'm gonna stab him in the brain and use the brain hole for...you know what.

"If you don't believe me that's your problem not mine" I said to My uncle who was red with anger. About to burst.

He looked kind of funny. His face was red, his eyes were twitching, and his veins were popping. But the funniest thing was that I saw a little steam come out of his ears.

Today has been an awful day. But I've been through worst...

"Hiccup what are you talking about, and I know for a fact that you are not a MERCENARY, those are just cold blooded killers who would end the life of anyone for money." My father told me in a normal voice level now.

"Sorry to disappoint you, but I'm a highly trained killing mercenary and I am capable of ending the life of any bastard that I am payed to kill" I said reassuring him.

My father along with everyone in the village just started at me with disbelieve and shamefulness.

"Sooooo...can I go now" I said sheepishly.

"NOO, YOU CAN'T STOICK THIS NEEDS TO BE DISCUSSED, HE NEEDS A PUNISHMENT" My uncle said walking towards me.

I don't know what this MotherFucker thinking but hell no am I gonna get yelled at by a fat old delusional bastard...

If this Nigga gonna fight me...Fight these tears.

Without even thinking I grabbed Mildew, the old dude who complains all the time, he was 4 feet from me.

"Don't come closer Uncle, or I will be forced to use this" I said referring to Mildew.

My Uncle stopped and rose an eyebrow, as did everyone else.

"What are ye planing to do with that, its just an old man that complains all the time" He shouted.

Mildew responded with an "Oy", I think he was scared or annoyed.

Haha... Just watch this MotherFucker.

I placed Mildew In front of me, facing the village along with my father and Spitelout.

I grabbed my katana from the back of my suite.

Everyone Gasped.

"Hiccup what are you-" My father was cut off by Spitelout.

I placed my katana over Mildews head. I could hear him whimpering. He was shaken.

I chuckled a little...

"Ready.."

Annnnnnnddddd-

* * *

 **Thats all folks...heheh**

 **Hope your all enjoying my story...**

 **I would like to thank** **Porcupain** **for giving me Fantastic Ideas.**

 **Anyway see you next chapter...**


	4. This day just keeps getting better

No body's POV

SLICE!.

Everyone gasped at the scene. They thought mildew would fall any minute now with blood oozing from his back. But they got a little surprise instead.

Mildew was still standing. His eyes opened slightly to find no trace of pain of blood anywhere until...

*Drop*. Mildews pants fell down exposing his saggy man penis to the entire village. Wife's covered the eyes of there children, and husbands covered the eyes of there Wives. Although Mrs. Larson fainted.

Mildew quickly rushed to get his pants up but it was too late, the image could not be unseen. The damage was already done. Everyone was now scarred for life.

Spitelout just stoop there in disgust and embarrassment. The teens of Berk were vomiting on buckets while other were vomiting behind there houses. It was a hilarious scene.

Hiccup just laughed throughout the entire life scarring scenario. Laughing at people reactions and laughing at Mildews nasty man penis. Laughing at the people vomiting and laughing at Mrs. Larson. Who fainted btw.

Hiccups POV

Oh my fucking Gods. That was the funniest thing I've ever seen. This is so priceless, They should have seen there faces. Oh my Thor, that was too much.

Man, I've ended countless lives already, I've killed more people than I can count but nothing beats the incredible happiness that I feel right now. Oh Thor I can bearly breathe.

Well this just changed my mood. I feel a little better.

"Hiccup, if you are done with your insane rampage could you please explain to me why are behaving this way and what made you change like this" Stoick said, now calm and ignored his sons past actions.

"Uh no. 1st of all I have a job to do 2nd of all, my origin story in classified and 3rd of all I have a strip club in Zinacory island to go to" I rejected his question.

"You go to strip clubs?!." Snotlout asked me.

"Uh yeah actually. It's really nice there, I usually just go to get a drink, but sometimes I just relax and enjoy the show." I said with an evil smirk.

"How come he can go to strip clubs and I can't even sleep with a girl yet" He turned and faced his father.

Spitelout just shrieked back avoiding his sons question. What a baby.

"Listen I really need to go I can't be late for- uh for my meeting" Phew, that was close I almost said the name.

"Whre do you need to go, boy?" My father said.

"You don't need to know"

"Well then I hope you know that you will not leave this island, until you tell me what is going on with you." My father said as a smile appeared on his face.

Ahh man, I'm gonna be late. This day just keeps getting better.

"Really?!"

"Yes, Really. You will stay in your room and never leave, how's that sound?"

"Fucking horrible" I said with bitter disgust. I crossed my arms in annoyance.

"Well I don't care, it's for your own good"

My father turned and faced the village. "Please go back to what you were doing, this matter will be taken care of. I would like to apologize for the uncomfortable image that you saw today" My father glanced at Mildew then back at the village."And don't worry about what you saw and heard today, I can assure you it will never happen again, and if you want to talk personally with my son, you can"

The entire village nodded. They just continued on there way like nothing happened.

You know sometimes it's hard to believe I come from a shitty place like this. This day just keeps getting better.

1\. I'm gonna be late for my meeting with Mr.J

2\. I'm now gonna be stuck here until I start talking.

3\. The Squad will probably be pissed off at me for being late.

No matter. I still have 7 hours to get there. It starts at 10:30. All I have to do is escape this Hell. I'll catch them off guard and then get my no-longer-scrawny ass out of here.

My father escorted me to out house. _What a gentleman._ He basicly forced me to change back to my old clothes. After that he just told me to go to my room and not come out until I crack. Deadpool and I have gone through the toughest moments in human history, we've been pass the worst tortures ever realized and known to men. And all these people did was put me in my room until I talk. This is gonna wayyyyy to easy.

I started to get bored so I just decided to draw something. I haven't drawn in a long time it's been a while. I started getting lost in my sketch, my inner soul drawing instead of my finger. I started drawing something I loved, something I will always love.

And there it was. My drawing of a dead body with a knife in his gut. Blood oozing from the womb staining the victims clothes and exposed skin. "Beutiful" I whispered to myself. It so accurate, so bold. The man in my painting had a bruised eye and face, He was screaming for help, but none came. He was slowly and painfully bleeding to death. I stared at my masterpiece with an evil smirk. I loved seeing my victims this way.

Screaming for my help. Begging for mercy. Pleading for there lives. Only to be turned down all 3 of them and finally die a cruel death by getting stabbed in the brain.

I decided to name my masterpiece 'Cruelty'. For the cruelness of the world hangin from my shoulders. For the unbearable pain the man in my painting had been feeling. For the cruel way this man will surely die. 'Cruelty' fits in just nice.

I snapped back from my trance and started pacing all around the room thinking of a way to escape. Deadpool was my master and mentor but he only thought me combat, we didn't really do a lot of thinking.

I suddenly felt tired. It was a really long day and I needed some rest, I don't have mutant powers like wade does.

My eyes started feeling heavy, I could bearly keep myself awake. I could not be miss that meeting, it's too important. But I couldn't do it anymore, I lowered my eyes and escaped my self into a deep sleep.

. . . . . . . . . . . .

 **So what did you guys think. Guys I'm so sorry for not updating in a while. I hit a writers block. Please for give me.**

 **Anyway if you guys liked the chapter I'm gonna give y'all a few clues on what's gonna happen next.**

 **I watch the movie Suicide Sauad and can I just say...ITS THE BEST MOVIE EVER!**

 **I loved every single scene. Seriously. And I'm actually thinking of putting The Joker and Hartly Quinn in this. If you guys want some more characters just say so. I'm always listening.**

 **That why I mentioned Mr.J over there.**

 **Anyway im thinking of making Hartly, Hiccups love interest instead of Astrid. I know it's a bit crazy but I'm willing to explore it. Hartly will be in love with Hiccup instead of The Joker. Bit he will be in the story.**

 **Or**

 **The can both be in the story but love each other. You know original love. While Hiccup finds love interest in Astrid. There will be a poll on my page. Vote there or in the review section tell me Watcha think. Also ima a female and tell me in this is award or anything it in Suicide Squad I found the Joker to be Hot As HELL. Seriously guys I fell in LOVE with him. He's just so fricking sexy.**

 **Anyway Byeeeee**


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